I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
