...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
