420 ftw
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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