I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
