We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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