I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize