we have officially lost it.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
