My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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