i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
