break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
