Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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