ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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