why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
