I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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