beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Still dying that you shit outside
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
