the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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