paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
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Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
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"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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