Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
