its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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