I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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