next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
