Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
