More tranny stories later!
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
