I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
