Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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