She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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