He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Please don't give away my fajitas
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
