This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
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People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
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If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.