My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?