508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.