So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
