do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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