is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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