who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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