i'm lost and i look like a hooker
time to smoke my breakfast
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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