So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
