so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
