just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's rum buckets o'clock
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
