Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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