I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
