Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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