yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
