it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
