dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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