We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
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He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
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TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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