I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
