Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
