I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
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