I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
