OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We have started to decorate penises.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
