I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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