Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
