There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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