My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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