Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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