I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
