i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
