had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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