Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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