: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Pants are for mortals
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
