please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
