even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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