I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
