Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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